The Office - Top Ten (the Revival)

OK, I know I kind of ragged Beth back in October when she posted her Office top ten list - but that's my job.

But Thursday night's episode (Back From Vacation) was maybe the funniest one yet. I mean, there were "pee in your pants" moments - and the older I get, the more dangerous those moments become...

So, here's my version of 'The Office Top Ten - the Revival':

#10 - Michael to Stanley - "You are not as much fun as your Jamaican brothers - mon."

#9 - Toby - "Nine different people emailed me that photo, including my ex-wife - and we don't even talk."
Michael - "This is probably the ice breaker you need."

#8 - Michael to Jan - "And I - to you - in addition feel - the same feelings - that you are - as well."

#7 - Kevin to Jan - "You look...tan."

#6 - Michael - "I'm not dating Jan. She was very clear on that."

#5 - Dwight to Pam - "You're PMSing pretty bad, huh?"

#4 - Michael to Dwight - "...the file name is 'Jamaican Jan Sun Princess'."

#3 - Michael to Jan - (Accompanied with hand gestures) "You. Complete. Me."

#2 - Dwight - "Let the record show that Jim Halpert is a liar."

#1 - The slight darting of Michael's eyes to the camera, along with the most subtle of smiles, when he realizes that he's not getting reprimanded by Jan for sending out the photo, but instead, she's telling him that she wants to continue the 'relationship'.

OK, my number 1 might not be your number 1, or even in your top 10. But, the look on his face at that moment was classic. I had to watch it back about 3 times right then. Then, when Ray fell asleep, I had to watch the entire thing over again. And - even though he only got one mention in my top 10, my favorite character for the moment is Kevin. He is hilarious. When I first started watching, he just annoyed me, but now that I 'know' him better, he cracks me up! I think our bond began when I discovered how much he likes the shredder - a major point we have in common.

Changing topics. Does anyone watch "Dexter" - a series on Showtime? I caught it relatively late in the 1st Season, but it is really good. They've just started InDemand service through Cox, so I was able to catch up on all of the episodes I missed this weekend - it was a "Dexter" marathon. Anyway, I'm sure they will be showing them again before the next season starts up, so for any of you who have Showtime, I would recommend that you check it out.

Pet Peeve #87

...out of about 1,000,000, right? I know, but I can't help it.

Anyway (disclaimer alert), just because I happen to be posting this just a few moments after this actually happened, I'm not trying to pick on anybody (Mom), but it just made me think that I ought to post this so all (7) of you reading this will be aware.

It drives me crazy when I get emails forwarded to me warning me of a new scam or theft ring or product defect - because 99% of the time, they are simply not true.

Examples: We've all heard that we shouldn't use our cell phones at the gas pump because of the huge chance of a spark causing a fire. Not true. What about the one where a woman nearly got into her car after pumping gas, but a good samaritan warned her that there was a crazed killer in the backseat? Or the one that really gets me, a girl's jaw got swollen to the point of immobility due to eating a Taco Bell taco with roach eggs in it. I worked there, and as I've told you, the worst thing I ever saw was my shoe being used as leverage on the block of cheese.

So, next time you get one of those emails, and you are tempted to forward to all of your friends and loved ones out of concern for their safety, please take a moment to visit Snopes.com. Snopes is a site that lists all sorts of urban legends and fictional tales. It will give you the history of the story, and the research about why it is not (or in some cases why it is) true.

If you want to be really obnoxious (like me), you'll look up the info on Snopes and then reply to the sender (and all other addressees) and point them to Snopes. I just hate to do it, but I've "snoped" plenty of folks in my day!!!

3 New Entries!!!

That's right - nothing for a month and then, BAM!!! 3 New postings. Scroll down after reading this one, because I KNOW you won't want to miss my Halloween and Vegas pics.

Went over to Dad's tonight to watch LSU TOTALLY SUCK against Ole Miss. Yes, they pulled it out in the end, but it was pitiful.

However, Dad cooked a great meal, and I got to spend a little time with my niece, Lauren. She just turned '1' on the 4th of this month, and she gets cuter and funnier every time I see her. I had my camera with me (and I actually remembered to get it out), so I took some shots of her before she went home to go night-night.

Time to go to bed (and get away from crazy Aunt Susan)

My heart belongs to Daddy...

...at least that's what Mommy and I let him think!

The Return of Spike

I've been meaning to post these pictures from Halloween...

Mary, a lady at work, convinced me that we should dress for Halloween. I loaned her the old reliable M&M costume, and I pulled "Spike" out for the day. The weather was threatening, so I left T.S. at home, but I should have ridden - it would have completed the package.

Mary is always a good sport!

Looks like Spike needs to switch to light beer...

Nice tats though.

Viva Las Vegas!

I know - it's been forever - but, give me a break -- I've been busy, plus I'm not very committed to this blog thing anyway.
Anyway, lots going on at work, but we went to Vegas and it was awesome! I LOVED it. I mean, I lost $175 and I came home feeling horribly ill due to the dry weather and cigarette smoke. It's taken me a week to get over whatever that did to my sinuses. But, it was still awesome. I'm sure I looked like a total hick - walking around looking up at everything with my mouth hanging open. It was just so cool! Plus I got to spend a good amount of time with Beth - and that was great. And, of course I got to see Rick, Bradley and Ella, too. It was wonderful, but it also makes me realize what great friends they are and how much I miss them. I'm getting teary eyed here, so I'll quit.
But, Vegas was as great as I could have hoped for. We enjoyed both shows a ton - even though they were totally different. The night out with Beth was really fun (even though I was gassing people out with my Hall cherry-menthol cough drops the whole night. And the "Rick Jackson Special" Hoover Dam tour was fantastic!
I can hardly wait to go back again - even though I have no idea when I'll be able to do it. I'm thinking 40th Birthday trip...
Since what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, I won't go into all of the details here (and, believe me, there was some juicy stuff that I could discuss about our night on the town...), but here are some pictures.

This is a place filled with wonderous things...

Including New York New York - my favorite hotel and casino

The romantic gondola ride at the amazing Venitian

Awesome Hoover Dam (The "Regular People" Tour)

...and the "Special People" Tour (complete with hottie tour guide)

My wonderful Jackson4 - I miss them so much :(

Las Vegas...The good, the bad, and the ugly!

Oops! Looks like it's time to go home now!!!

Quick Update

OK, I know it's horrible that I haven't updated the blog in over 2 weeks. However, I do take solice in the fact that Beth hasn't posted an update in 6 days...and counting... I just don't have anything going on right now that is worthy of taking up your time, or mine.

However, as an update to the last posting, I did get the problem with the permit section of DPW worked out, and Entergy is finally supposed to come out some time today to switch out the gas meter. It's been on the chilly side for the last few days, but I have been trying to swim anyway. I swam Sunday, Monday, and yesterday (Wednesday). Sunday it was sunny, so I waited as long as I could, and I think the water got up to about 84°. Not too terrible, but when the wind would blow, it was edging towards unpleasantness. Monday and yesterday, it was 80° or 81°. That's really cold. I mean, it sounds nice as far as weather is concerned, but think about plunging your 98.6° body into water that is almost 20° cooler - yikes! The first few minutes are the worst, and then it's OK as I get a few laps under my belt. So, hopefully things will go smoothly with the meter upgrade. Then I just have to get the pool guys out one last time to make sure everything is working correctly. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

I've been putting in a lot of miles on T.S. In fact, I bring him in for the 1,000 mile service tomorrow. Gosh, it seems like only a few months ago that we were just starting out together. I guess that's because it was... This past Friday I did have a milestone event with T.S. I got on the big bad Interstate!!! I was running errands around Corporate, and decide to meet Ray for lunch. So, I balled up all my nerve and got on I-10 at College. The lead up to getting on felt very much like when you get on a roller coaster and you're building up to the first big drop. Luckily for me, I was able to wiz through all of the lights at Corporate and College, so I didn't have time to sit and think about it. Traffic was fairly light, and since I'm now used to going 60 mph (and occassionally more), it was really pretty anti-climatic. We're only talking about 5 or 6 miles, so I wouldn't consider myself an experienced interstate cyclist, but I had to start somewhere. I did it again Tuesday after I went to the dentist (named Levy, not Crentist). Same route as before. The thing that I noticed the most was the roughness of the trip. That section is almost 100% elevated, so I felt every single metal expansion joint!

I guess the only other happening for me is that I worked and worked and worked, and finally convinced Ray to go to Vegas in November.

I'm super excited about the trip. I've never been, so that'll be cool, plus I'll be getting to spend quality time with the Jacksons. Right now, I've booked us into Bally's Las Vegas. It's right on the Strip across from Bellagio (which was booked - but you know I tried there first!!!), and I finally decided on it because of the package deal I got. Ray and I want to see the Jubilee, which is a traditional (semi-topless) Las Vegas revue.


The Jubilee is at Bally's so I was able to get the package which basically included free tickets to the show. Beth has booked a room one night, and the three of us have tickets to go see "Zumanity," which is the '18 and over' Cirque de Soleil show. It's supposed to be hot and steamy.


I'm mainly excited because no kids are allowed in either show - I'm such a mean old lady! Anyway, we are hoping to eat dinner with the Jacksons one night, get the Hoover Dam tour from Rick, and then spend time with them all on the last day before we fly out at 7:00pm. So, there's going to be a lot going on during our 4 days there, but I'm psyched!

Oh yeah, and I had another birthday, so I'm 38 now. Barf! If you haven't seen it, you need to check out the link on my blog for "Beth's Blog" so that you can see the birthday message she sent me.

It wasn't my fault, Your Honor!

Can I sue the city for not losing weight?

As the temperature is dropping, I'm both eagerly and anxiously awaiting the final things that have to be done to get the spa and heater for the pool working. The first thing that had to happen was the completion of the pool and installation of all equipment. Check. Next, we had to have the fence installed. Check. Next, the city has to come out to do a final inspection, and once that's done, I have to call Entergy to have them upgrade our gas meter so that the heater has enough juice to do it's job. Back up - I missed a "check".

Well, yesterday and today, I have been hoping to come home and see that pink inspection paper from DPW. (I know it's gonna be pink because they've already done two inspections on pool location and pool rough in, and they were pink, and I'm just sharp that way.) Nothing yesterday, but as I pull into the driveway today (on T.S., because it's been nice and cool - but I think I mentioned that already), I see the pink form folded into the door handle. Hooray!!! I grabbed it and skipped merrily to the back to tell Ray. I'm not sure exactly what I said, but I teased him about us failing the inspection - ha, ha, ha.

Later, as I was about to go mow, the yard, I decided to actually read the thing, and the joke is on me, because it was marked, "REJECTED & RESCHEDULE". (Imagine the air being sucked out of an old worn out balloon here.)

According to the sheet, the gates must be self closing - which I find interesting because both of my neighbors have had their inspections, and neither has self closing gates. In fact, one neighbor has the IDENTICAL fence/gate set up that we do - we used the same company! I called the fence guy, and he told me that he'd never had a problem, but that the steel framed gates on our fence can't easily be made to be self closing, and to do some sort of work around would add a lot to the price. Great. He also told me that, a few months ago, he was actually doing the final work on the neighbor's fence when the inspector came by, and the guy saw that there were locks on the gates, and was ok with the inspection. Does that seem arbitary and capricious (that's for you, Beth) to you that mine won't get approved, but the neighbor's was approved while the fence guy WAS STILL WORKING ON IT???

OK, so I went to the DPW website a minute ago, and there is a section on swimming pool fences, and it does say that all gates must be self closing and self latching (and some other stuff). Then it says that other protective devices may be used as long as they provide at least the same protection as the device you substitute for.

Let's hope that a padlock is a sufficient substitute for a self closing/latching gate. If not, it will be way too cold to swim much longer this year, and I won't be able to use the pool for its intended purpose - swim laps and lose weight (forget about the fact that I ate lunch at the Little Village yesterday and Serop's today - that's beside the point). Anyway, if they don't accept my substitute, I guess I'll be suing for the bodily harm they are causing me! I think I have a shot at winning, too. (I just hope they pick a lot of large (Christians) people for the jury!

Milestone Ride

Last Wednesday, Baton Rouge had a power outage in the downtown area. I had ridden T.S. to work that day, and was leaving a little early after having returned from visiting in Alexandria all day. As I fought through traffic downtown, I kept thinking that as soon as I got across Government, the traffic would be better, as the lights would surely be on. Wrong. I got past Government and on to Nicholson past the Pastime, and still no lights. But I was certain that as soon as I got to LSU, the power would be on, because the campus has to be on a different grid, right? Wrong again!

Did I mention that on the way to work that morning, I was having to travel on the Reserve Fuel tank? I'd never ridden far on that part of the tank, but theoretically, there was a gallon of gas left, and I should have been able to travel at least 40 miles before running out of gas completely. Do I even have to say "wrong" again? As I passed not one, but two, gas stations going down Nicholson (I was still thinking that everything would be ok at LSU and beyond), the traffic really started bogging down. I was in my new rain jacket, helmet and leather gloves, and I was wondering where that promised cool front was. So after passing through the North gates of campus, and going about 2 blocks in about 20 minutes, T.S. sputtered and died. Even though I'd been sitting there for that long, I was still slightly in disbelief. I (fairly calmly) pushed the Start button again, and it almost got going, but then died. I thought, "Maybe it's flooded." So I 'duck-walked' it over to the side, hoping that people would think that I was just taking a break from the traffic (don't ask me why, but I was embarassed, and this was more on my mind than the thought that I was out of gas). After sitting for a minute, I tried again. Nothing doin'.

Very luckily for me, I was right next the Married Student Housing (a.k.a., Student Visa Village), so I was able to pull into a parking space in a lot. I called Ray and told him not to come down Nicholson because it was FUBAR. I told him that I'd walk up Nicholson to South Stadium and down past the Vet School to River Road. He said he thought that was way too far for me to walk, and that he'd get there well before I did. He was right - and wrong. It was close to 100 degrees, and I was fully dressed (black pants, shirt, jacket, rain jacket), and having to carry my helmet, purse and packet of papers from the bike. (I didn't want to leave ANYTHING with the bike, as I was not sure if it would be there when I returned.) As I started huffing it towards Alex Box, I realized that this was going to be a bit of a walk. Once I rounded the corner, I knew I was in trouble. I was carrying my jacket, but I stopped to fold it up into the pouch it came with, and stuffed it into my (heavy as hell) helmet. I started off again, sweat pouring into my eyes, sounding like an asthmatic, and the phone rings. It's Ray telling me how bad the traffic on River Road was. I was still worried that he'd get there before me, so I kept going, but by this point, the inserts in my riding boots had slid down, and I was in extreme pain. Do you realize how long that stretch of road is??? FINALLY, I made it. The traffic was moving as slow or slower than on Nicholson. I probably waited another 20 minutes before Ray got there. I didn't care - I was so happy to see him creeping around the bend!

Anyway, we went back much later, and T.S. was still there (thank goodness!). I refilled the gas, and it started up like nothing had ever happened. So, yes, that was a horrible experience, but I know that I was actually lucky, and that it could have been much worse. I could have been in the middle of nowhere, or it could have been raining, or Ray could have been AWOL. But, I've learned my lesson. As soon as the main tank runs out, I am heading straight to the gas station - I don't ever want to do that again!

How much should a taco weigh?

Everyday, I get an email from the Baton Rouge Business Report, which provides a link to their "Daily Report" webpage. When I clicked on it yesterday, this is what I saw:







Taco Bell buys site, plans new Sherwood store
Taco Bell has purchased a 1.2-acre tract at 2313 Sherwood Forest Blvd. for $772,000 and plans to open a new prototype restaurant on the site. A Denny's restaurant used to be on the land at the corner of Sherwood Forest and Interstate 12. John Lee, who handles local real estate for Taco Bell, says the new location will replace the existing store at 2698 Sherwood Forest. "We want to get out of that old building and get into something new and vibrant," Lee says. The new Taco Bell is set to open in late November/early December.

So, depending on how well you know me, you're either thinking, "So what?" or you've already rushed out to the Hallmark store to buy me a sympathy card.

OK, here's a clue:






"Welcome to Taco Bell. May I take your order?"

Or how about this one:
"Would you care for any Cinnamon Crispas with your order?"

Yes, that's me in my vintage circa 1985 Taco Bell uniform. My very first job - wow! It's hard to believe that it was over 20 years ago. Damn, I'm old! I still remember that day. My friend, Nicole, and I were on the hunt for our first job. I mean, we'd both had plenty of babysitting jobs, but we were looking for something where you actually had to pay FICA. So we're cruising South Sherwood Forest Blvd in my dad's powder blue Buick Skylark Wagon (a very sweet ride), and we see that G. D. Ritzy's has been converted to a Taco Bell, and the opening date is soon. So we went in to be "interviewed," and I can honestly remember being nervous. Is that crazy or what? I mean who in their right mind would be nervous about talking to a Taco Bell manager about getting a job? But anyway, I was. Luckily, Nicole batted her eyelashes a few times, and since we were a package deal, we got the jobs. So here I was, about to be a Junior in high school and I had my first job. As with the MANY new jobs I've had, I was pretty much a basket case at first - I had to pin my hair up (that lasted 2 days); what if I can't figure out the register?; what if they make me TALK to people???? But, of course, within a very short period of time, Nicole and I owned that place. We were the Taco Bell goddesses. Something wrong with the register? Go get Susan - she'll fix it. I could do everything - register, food line, drive through, clean up, cook meat and beans (that's for you Beth - get the visual), and even fry. That was a true accomplishment because they usually only had one guy per shift that could fry, but I made one of the guys teach me. We got so many of our friends jobs there - it was like our own little Brat Pack.

That was a great place (in retro). So what if you came home smelling like grease and beans every day? Where else can you learn how to take a 40 pound block of cheese and cut it up into small enough pieces to fit into the shredder? (Piano wire, by the way. Of course I never had the strength to do it the right way, so I'd prop my foot up against it while I pulled the wire through. Yes, the same docksider that I'd been slipping and sliding around the floor for the entire shift. True fact.) Where else can you 'stick it to the man' by overstuffing his burrito with sour cream to the point that it will barely fold? That was also the place that I got my first experience being around lots of people of a different race that my own. I definitely count that as one of the bonuses of working there - it broadened my horizons and let me see a different side to life other than my WonderBread world. I guess that's where I picked up my ear for Hip Hop, and my fly dancing skills! And I will say this: I never put any bodily fluids in anyone's food, and I never saw a roach. I guess that stuff happens, but working there didn't make me fear eating there.

So anyway, they're closing down my old stomping grounds. I haven't eaten there in forever, but I guess I should go by and give it a send off before it's gone for good. Maybe I'll track down Nicole and we can eat lunch there together.

Oh? How much should a taco weigh? If memory serves correctly, I believe it should weigh between 3 and 31/2 ounces.

Pictures from Labor Day

I finally got the pictures from Labor Day sent to me. And it is only because I'm so very self confident that I am putting a picture of myself in the pool out here. Actually, I'm not sure if I'm more concerned about me in my bathing suit, or about the goggles. Probably the goggles. Poor Lauren - she must be really concerned when she sees me in these. I really had no idea how scary they are until I saw the pictures! But, since I had them on in every shot, I had no choice. Besides, I don't think it's right to put other people's pictures in their swimsuits out here and not step up and put my own out here as well.

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Ray was playing chef. Here's a shot of him and his famous chickens that we didn't get to eat that day. They were good the next day with a little extra cooking!

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Dad bought this little boat for Lauren. I had the squirting fish from our Christmas stockings. I think the fish was more interesting to her at this point. Also, the fish later doubled as a fire extinguisher when the grill kept flaming up too big.

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Paul, Brittany and Lauren enjoyed the water. As you can see, Lauren is already starting to take after me with the "road rage" look she's throwing the camera as she cruises by, driving one-handed no less.

Aunt Susan Rides Again!

I've got the coolest nephew ever! There's no blood relation, but he's got to get some of his coolness from me - good old Aunt Susan! Yes, I'm talking about my friend Beth's son, Bradley. Beth and her husband (Rick) packed up the kids and moved them out to Las Vegas this year, and I really miss them all a lot. So, the other morning I went to the mailbox and there was a package from them. I opened it up, and it was this awesome Harley-Davidson t-shirt from Vegas. The note from Beth said that Bradley picked it out himself, and that they hoped to see a picture of me in it on the blog soon (but no pressure - yeah, right!). So, I hope this entry lives up to their expectations. (No, your PC isn't messed up - the camera I took this with didn't have sound. It was a free camera...what do you expect???)

Thanks, Bradley. Love you and miss you lots!

Labor Day Weekend

We had a really nice Labor Day weekend. Friday evening we went to the Clubhouse of the UCP Golf/Swim/Tennis Club for dinner. We're not members of the club (since we don't Golf/Swim/Tennis), but the clubhouse is open to the public. I've been trying to get Ray to go there for a meal, but he has resisted for almost a year. I guess he was in a weakened state Friday night, so he gave in. It was pretty good. They have a decent menu. Ray got the special - Catfish, fries, cole slaw and hush puppies. I got the burger and fries. I really liked his a lot, so we traded. I let him keep the slaw, though. He has agreed to go back again.
Saturday was spent in preparation for Sunday. We took some pool water to the Pool Store and had them analyze it. Then we bought the necessary chemicals to get the water in tip top shape. Lunch was at Arby's, then we went to Best Buy for a cheap phone that can be used outside. With the rebate and my Best Buy Reward certificate, it's going to end up costing me $3.68. The sound isn't the best, but I figure that if it gets wet and ruined, I won't be out much. Next stop - Wal-Mart. That one almost did me in. I had planned to stop quickly at Sam's and Lowe's afterwards, but I couldn't manage after spending so long in Wal-Mart. We got home and got the pool treatment going. Acid first and then wait four hours. I got Ray to cook a couple of burgers on the grill (I told him it would be good practice for Sunday), and man, they were good. Watched a little football, did the second step of pool prep (2 lbs of "Shock" in the skimmers), and went to bed.
Sunday, we got up, treated the pool with step 3 - "Hardness Plus" - which adds calcium to the water, and ate breakfast - leftover Arby's. Yummy. Next we prepared several variations of burgers and some chicken for later. Then I made this really good, rich banana pudding and some green beans. While Ray went to the health club, I straightened up the house (not too much) and gave the pool a last skimming. Then Dad, Sylvia and Christina showed up. Dad brought lots of pool toys, which I wasn't super thrilled about. (As I told him, "I don't have this pool for playing and entertaining. I have it for fitness swimming.") But I'll have to admit, we did have fun with the stuff he brought - as usual. Next, Paul, Brittany and Lauren showed up. Eventually, we all made it into the pool, and everybody had fun. Lauren looked so cute in her little swimsuit. Dad had bought her a little floating boat, so she "rode" around in that. She liked the waterfall from the spa to the pool a lot. (If Dad will send me his pictures, I'll post a few. Although, I'm not sure if he'll send them, because I threatened to ban him from being invited if he took another one of me in my swimsuit. I got in trouble with Ray for that one!)
Ray cooked the burgers and we ate (a bit later than planned - timing and propane mishaps), but everything was good.
Best part of the day - they all left. No, just kidding. The best part was that after eating all of that food, I must have had enough physical activity, because I hadn't gained any weight the next morning.
Yesterday was supposed to be spent moving dirt around in the back yard, but that didn't happen. Instead, I ate breakfast (hamburger, of course), swam my 33 laps, floated around in the pool with Ray (using the swim noodles Dad had brought over) and then took at long nap. When I woke up, it was time to eat again - yippee! Then I watched a movie, swam another set of laps (to make up for missing Saturday and Sunday), and watched TV. Later, I ate a piece of chicken from some that got partially cooked Sunday. With a little more cooking applied, it was good. Then it was off to bed for me! All in all - a very nice weekend.

Sorry this was probably boring, but this is my life right now - working, swimming, eating and sleeping. I'll try to have some more exciting adventures for next time. Would you rather hear about how my back is peeling from my sunburn.....Yeah, probably not.

One More Payment, and it's All Ours!

Okay, here are some long awaited pictures of the completed pool - no landscaping yet, though. That may be awhile, since Ray says we're tapped out for the time being. The pool builder came over yesterday and showed me the equipment and told me what was needed to maintain it. I asked him a million questions and gave him tons of "what if" scenarios, and he told me that I had "NPOS" - new pool owners syndrome. He said I had an extreme case of it. Who me? I saw the first spots of algae the other day and freaked, so he sent his guy to take care of it, but he swears that I'm going to get algae every now and then. NOT! We'll see. Currently, the Polaris runs every night and I manually clean with the skimmer net each time before I get in. I also brush the steps and ledges each time I swim. Knowing myself, the honeymoon won't last long - but I'm gonna try.

OK, so here they are (the last one is the algae from the other day):

Childhood Dreams Fulfilled???

From birth to age 13, I lived in Plano, Texas. Plano is just north of Dallas, and, at that time, was one of those towns known for having good football, and a lot of wealthy residents. (And troubled teens - I got out just in time!!!) Plano is/was divided into East Plano and West Plano. West Plano was where all of the rich folks lived, and East Plano is where the rest of us were. (Of course, now there are also lots of wealthy subdivisions east of East Plano, just to confuse things.)

My sister and I were "latchkey kids" (I literally have several school pictures with my key hanging from a chain or shoe string from my neck - what a dweeb!), so we (especially me) got into a little mischief now and then, but it was necessary to keep from being bored. Our neighborhood was bordered on one side by 14th Street. At the time, this was a busy 4 lane road, with neighborhoods on one side, and commercial properties on the other. My best comparison for it is like Coursey Blvd, between Sherwood Forrest and Stumberg, is today - a good amount of well flowing traffic. The main attractions for us on 14th Street were Dairy Queen, 7-11, and farther down-past the semi residential area-Tom Thumb. When the allowance money would come in, I'd pull out the Sweet Thunder from the garage, and hit the streets. Getting from our street to the other side of 14th Street was always scary as hell, but with DQ and 7-11 in my sights, I had no choice, right? My favorite DQ Treats were the Buster Bar and Push-up. Marg liked the Dilly Bar. And we were both fascinated with the chocolate dipped ice cream cone, with the signature DQ curl at the tip of the ice cream. Crossing a side street from DQ, you could get to 7-11. I spent many hours and many dollars in that place. Loved the cherry Slurpee the best (Marg like the Coke flavored - yuck!). One day we got "accosted" as we left the store by the clerk, because he said we shoplifted (which, believe it or not, we didn't). He demanded that Margaret open her purse, but she stood her ground with all the righteous indignation that a 12 year old can muster. I think that experience ended with Mom driving up there later and chewing the guy out - and picking up a carton of True Blues while she was there.

On days when I was really brave, rich and bored, I'd take my bike all the way to the Tom Thumb. This was really scary, because, even though it was on the same side of 14th Street as our house, the sidewalk ended about half way there. Plus, you had to cross the intersection at Jupiter Road, which was like crossing Sherwood Forest Blvd at Coursey. Then, I had to worry about finding a place to lock up the bike once I got there. But, once I made it into the parking lot, it was always worth it. For me, the toy aisle rocked! I bought every new Matchbox and Hot Wheels car that came out. If I had kept all of those cars, and kept them in mint condition, I could retire right now. But I wasn't thinking about that back then. It was way too much fun to build my Lincoln Log houses and have my cars drive back and forth. (If this part of the story is sounding too much like a normal childhood, just know that in my Matchbox/Hot Wheels/Lincoln Logs scenarios, most of the visiting was for illicit purposes - I watched a lot of Prime Time TV at that age.)



The other Nirvana for us growing up was Stuckey's. (Has the phrase "white trash childhood" passed through your thoughts yet?) My grandparents lived about an hour north of us, and about half way between our houses was a Stuckey's. We usually visited them once a month or so, and more often in the summers. In all of those trips I cannot remember a single incident when Margaret and I did not BEG my mother to stop at Stuckey's. We knew which exit it was on, so for about 5 miles in advance, we'd start working her over. "Please, Mama. Please, Mama. Oh please, oh please, oh please. Pleeeeeeeease let us stop - just this once. We never get to stop. I've got to go to the bathroom - really bad. I don't think I can hold it." I'll admit it - my memory is not what it used to be - but I don't think she ever stopped. (I'm sure she stopped occasionally, but I have no recollection of ever going in there.) In our most desperate attempts to get her to stop, we'd gather together all of our supernatural abilities, and mimic her turning the steering wheel onto the exit ramp. The concentration was uncanny. And, every now and then, it would almost work. The car WOULD actually start to veer towards the ramp. But, she'd always regain control, and the green roof would fly past us. Damn - we almost had her that time. And, then, mystically, things would revert to normal as if Stuckey's didn't even exist. "How much longer 'til we get there? She's kicking my seat!!!"

So why all of the nostalgia? Well, when Ray and I drove back to Baton Rouge from Lexington, we were looking for something to eat. We were approaching Birmingham, and I have rules for when and where we can stop (either before or after a big town, not in it because that's usually where the scary parts are). So it's getting close to 6:00, and I go into my "where are we going to stop" mode. And then...up ahead on the right...I see it. The green roof and yellow sign of a Stuckey's. OH...MY...GOSH - am I seeing what I think I'm seeing? Because it wasn't JUST a Stuckey's - it was a Stuckey's with a Dairy Queen attached! Ding, ding, ding - we have a winner!


So we pull into the parking lot, and I manage to stay in the car at least until Ray puts it in Park. All I'm thinking is "Steak Finger Basket and worthless junk to spend money on!" OK, I won't drag it out. DQ sucked! They no longer have Steak Finger Baskets, and I don't think I recognized a single thing on the Ice Cream part of the menu. Talk about disappointment. But I still had Stuckey's waiting for me. But, as much as I tried, couldn't find a single cheesy souvenir that I wanted. I ended up buying a bag of Cherry Sours and Peanut Butter Logs. What a bummer!

So, maybe my childhood wasn't so bad. And maybe Mom knew what she was doing by denying us the experience of going to Stuckey's (yes, there's still bitterness there). All I can say is that I think I've gotten it out of my system (for now).

P.S. Whether I'm wrong about this or not, I don't REALLY think I had a total white trash childhood - that was just poetic license. Don't get me wrong - Margaret and I were a bit on the bumpkin side. In fact, she still is. We didn't have a lot of money, but we always had what we needed. But, both of my parents always insisted on us having good manners and knowing wrong from right. Of course knowing wrong from right doesn't mean I always chose right. I was kind of like the 1970's female Eddie Haskel. But I really DIDN'T take anything from the 7-11...that day.

I'll post my pictures of the not so exciting visit to Dairy Queen and Stuckey's the next time I get on my PC at home.

What to do when you stay home sick

I stayed home today, because I was feeling crampy, but got on the computer to send myself an email to work. When I checked my home email account, I saw this link that my sister sent me to a site called "My Heritage." On the site, there is a face recognition program, where you can upload picutures, and it will tell you what celebrities you look like. I'm sure it's pretty bogus, and just uses basic facial shapes and features, but the more pictures I uploaded, the more I found myself on the edge of my seat, hoping that somebody cool would pop up. I'm such a geek - what can I say?

So, here are the pictures that I used on the site, and below are the results, in order with the pictures, which should be viewed from left to right, top to bottom.


The first shot returned Brett Hull (whoever that is) and a bunch of other guys. Also some Asians.

On the next one where I was smiling, I looked almost exclusively like women (pretty ones, too), but I didn't see the resemblance in most of the cases.

I ran one of Ray, and it said he looked like Hugo Weaving (Priscilla, Queen of the Desert), Rowan Atkinson (Mr. Bean), but it also said he looked like Denzel Washington, Chuck Norris and Gabriel Byrne. Go figure. I would have guessed Yul Brenner or something.

News Flash!!! The next one I ran of me in my Harley jacket said 59% like Michael Landon! That's "Pa Ingalls" to those 'Little House on the Prairie fans'. Whoppee! Also, Annette Benning, James Stewart and Arial Sharon. So far, in the three pics I'd run of me, I hadn't gotten the same person twice.

The next one I ran with my old glasses and when I first got my haircut short, returned Brad Pitt and Richard Gere. Damn, I was one hot looking Dude!

Ran another picture, that is a bit infamous to the old AFS crew, titled "Ouch," and got Jessica Alba, Jake Gyllenhaal, Liem Neeson, and Art Garfunkel (probably due to the hair on that one). At this point, I'm thinking of moving to Beverly - Hills, that is.

Then I ran one I took of Ternisa getting back on the bus in Lexington, after sweating at one of the horse farms. She got Raven Symone, Reese Witherspoon, Isabella Rossellini and Nancy Kerrigan. There were six other women it compared her too - all attractive. Not ONE time did it say she looked like a boy. Bitch.

Next I ran one of my niece, Lauren. She was about 6 months old in the picture, and very cute with her chubby cheeks. Some of her matches came back as Kate Winslet, Donnie Osmond (Lucky!), Gandhi, and Muhhamed Ali.

Finally, I ran one of me at Halloween, 2001, dressed up as my alter ego, "Spike". Who does Spike resemble? How about Regis Philbin for a start. Then there's Rene Russo, Jessica Alba (my first repeat, so it must be true), Estella Warren, and finally, Miss Thing herself...Whitney Houston. Oh, hell to the yes!

For each of the pictures, it gives you about 10 "celebrities" that match with you. I didn't list them all, because I didn't know half of them (although the site brags that it has the faces of the world's 3,200 most famous men and women) . But overall, my commonalities were men, Asians, Hispanics, and Jessica Alba. I guess I'll fare quite well in our continuously evolving melting pot of a society.

So, here's the link to the site. If you find yourself feeling crummy one day, it may cheer you up (or not). http://www.myheritage.com/FP/Company/face-recognition.php

As for me, I think I'm going back to bed now. 

Ready for Home

It's 12:15 am here in Nashville, and I'm ready to get home. The conference dinner and dancing ended at midnight, but I bailed about 11:30 to get online so that I could print our boarding passes and check e-mail. As usual, there were some 'kids' in here, taking up the computer space, but I managed to get on one that looked like it was having technical difficulties. Being the adult that I am, I went and asked the Front Desk how to fix it. It's nice having the confidence of a grown-up sometimes (not that I have it all of the time - not that evolved yet).
Anyway, I guess I'll go upstairs and try to pack a little bit, as Ray is still partying. The Hospitality Suite will be open until 1:00, so I told him that's his curfew. We'll see if he abides by it. Doubtful.
As much as I'm ready to get home, I certainly don't want to get back to work! We moved into our new building while I've been here, so I have boxes to unpack, as well as requests and problems that have been building up over the past week. Oh well, this, too, shall pass.
Guess I'll go pack and check on T.S. Chris on The Weather Channel. For those of you not in Louisiana, please say a prayer that Chris doesn't head our way.
Oh yeah, not much exciting to report from Nashville, other than I am now calling Ray and I the 'Alpha and Omega of Door Prizes.' I won the very first door prize given out - a digital camera and a memory card! It's probably not any nicer than the one I have (still only 4MB pictures), but it's small, takes decent pictures, and I'm giving it to Ray since he has never gone digital. This was a door prize drawn from names of people who registered early, and was sponsored by the organization. Ray won the very last prize of the conference, an American Express prepaid gift card for $100. Pretty cool, huh? We rock!
Later ----

**Teaser Alert**

OK - I've gotten quite a few complaints that I have been neglecting the Blog for the past week or so. You're right, and I'm sorry. I posted the pictures and comments below today, hoping to appease you temporarily. Since we've been back from Kentucky, I just haven't had the time or energy to put my thoughts and adventures into words. I do have some stuff to write about though. But now, we're leaving for Nashville tomorrow morning, and won't be back until next Friday night. I don't think I'll have access to the Web, so this will probably be my last posting for a week.
Just to show you that I plan to finish my Kentucky adventures, I've put the pictures above. I've got at least 3 stories to share: how I laughed so hard I almost wet my pants at the NASBO State Dinner; fulfilling my childhood fantasy of stopping at Stuckey's; and a comment about the upcoming release of yet another 'Rocky' movie. Plus, I'll have new things to tell about from Tennessee. And - as if that's not enough - as I sit here, the pool is being plastered, so it ought to be ready for action when we get back.
So, enjoy the pictures and short comments below, and I'll be back.... 

Awesome Burgers at Lynagh's

My good friend Geoff of the Kentucky Budget Office staff (who was alone with me in my hotel room at one point...) recommended that we eat at Lynagh's Pub near the University of Kentucky campus. We did, and were glad. Great burgers and fun atmosphere. Kentucky is a no smoking place, even in bars. So for me, it was great.
Barbara, Etta, Ternisa, Ray and I went for dinner one night, and had a great time - talking trash, of course! 

Woodford Distillery

Part of the day outing for the NASBO trip was a visit to the Woodford Distillery, where they make top of the line Boubon. It was a small distillery, and the tour guide was very proud of what they do there. It was HOT, but very interesting. Top left shows the bourbon aging in ash casks. Top right is Ray standing next to some examples of the finished product. Both bottom shots show us next to the huge vat where the process begins. It was hot and yeasty smelling. I kept wondering what would happen if I fell in? Could I get out, or would it be like an adult version of 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,' with me coming out drunk as Cooter Brown on the other end? Also, would they have to clean out the vats and start over, or just figure that at some point, the alcohol would kill any contamination I may have caused?
After the tour, we got to sample some bourbon and bourbon balls. It was STRONG! Just a taste on the tip of my tongue sent a hot flash down my throat and to my stomach. Ray was gracious enough to drink his, most of mine, and I think some of Ternisa's sample. Then he proceeded to revisit the Bourbon Ball tray so many times that they finally covered it up. That Ray - he loves a freebie!
Just to save face, I bought a box of the BBs. I also bought a bottle of bourbon, packaged in the limited edition 2006 Kentucky Derby bottle. On the RARE chance that any of you are ever invited over to my house, don't even think about asking if you can have a sip of it! 

OPB Goes to Church?!?!

Monique, Barbara, Etta, Ternisa, me and Ray at Joe Bologna's in Lexington, Kentucky. This is an Italian place that is in an old church. It was originally a Christian church that was later sold and used as a Jewish temple. It dates back to the late 19th century. Pretty cool, although sitting amongst the stain glass was freaking me out a little. The food was good and inexpensive. We had lots of fun - talking trash, of course!