How much should a taco weigh?

Everyday, I get an email from the Baton Rouge Business Report, which provides a link to their "Daily Report" webpage. When I clicked on it yesterday, this is what I saw:







Taco Bell buys site, plans new Sherwood store
Taco Bell has purchased a 1.2-acre tract at 2313 Sherwood Forest Blvd. for $772,000 and plans to open a new prototype restaurant on the site. A Denny's restaurant used to be on the land at the corner of Sherwood Forest and Interstate 12. John Lee, who handles local real estate for Taco Bell, says the new location will replace the existing store at 2698 Sherwood Forest. "We want to get out of that old building and get into something new and vibrant," Lee says. The new Taco Bell is set to open in late November/early December.

So, depending on how well you know me, you're either thinking, "So what?" or you've already rushed out to the Hallmark store to buy me a sympathy card.

OK, here's a clue:






"Welcome to Taco Bell. May I take your order?"

Or how about this one:
"Would you care for any Cinnamon Crispas with your order?"

Yes, that's me in my vintage circa 1985 Taco Bell uniform. My very first job - wow! It's hard to believe that it was over 20 years ago. Damn, I'm old! I still remember that day. My friend, Nicole, and I were on the hunt for our first job. I mean, we'd both had plenty of babysitting jobs, but we were looking for something where you actually had to pay FICA. So we're cruising South Sherwood Forest Blvd in my dad's powder blue Buick Skylark Wagon (a very sweet ride), and we see that G. D. Ritzy's has been converted to a Taco Bell, and the opening date is soon. So we went in to be "interviewed," and I can honestly remember being nervous. Is that crazy or what? I mean who in their right mind would be nervous about talking to a Taco Bell manager about getting a job? But anyway, I was. Luckily, Nicole batted her eyelashes a few times, and since we were a package deal, we got the jobs. So here I was, about to be a Junior in high school and I had my first job. As with the MANY new jobs I've had, I was pretty much a basket case at first - I had to pin my hair up (that lasted 2 days); what if I can't figure out the register?; what if they make me TALK to people???? But, of course, within a very short period of time, Nicole and I owned that place. We were the Taco Bell goddesses. Something wrong with the register? Go get Susan - she'll fix it. I could do everything - register, food line, drive through, clean up, cook meat and beans (that's for you Beth - get the visual), and even fry. That was a true accomplishment because they usually only had one guy per shift that could fry, but I made one of the guys teach me. We got so many of our friends jobs there - it was like our own little Brat Pack.

That was a great place (in retro). So what if you came home smelling like grease and beans every day? Where else can you learn how to take a 40 pound block of cheese and cut it up into small enough pieces to fit into the shredder? (Piano wire, by the way. Of course I never had the strength to do it the right way, so I'd prop my foot up against it while I pulled the wire through. Yes, the same docksider that I'd been slipping and sliding around the floor for the entire shift. True fact.) Where else can you 'stick it to the man' by overstuffing his burrito with sour cream to the point that it will barely fold? That was also the place that I got my first experience being around lots of people of a different race that my own. I definitely count that as one of the bonuses of working there - it broadened my horizons and let me see a different side to life other than my WonderBread world. I guess that's where I picked up my ear for Hip Hop, and my fly dancing skills! And I will say this: I never put any bodily fluids in anyone's food, and I never saw a roach. I guess that stuff happens, but working there didn't make me fear eating there.

So anyway, they're closing down my old stomping grounds. I haven't eaten there in forever, but I guess I should go by and give it a send off before it's gone for good. Maybe I'll track down Nicole and we can eat lunch there together.

Oh? How much should a taco weigh? If memory serves correctly, I believe it should weigh between 3 and 31/2 ounces.