One More Payment, and it's All Ours!

Okay, here are some long awaited pictures of the completed pool - no landscaping yet, though. That may be awhile, since Ray says we're tapped out for the time being. The pool builder came over yesterday and showed me the equipment and told me what was needed to maintain it. I asked him a million questions and gave him tons of "what if" scenarios, and he told me that I had "NPOS" - new pool owners syndrome. He said I had an extreme case of it. Who me? I saw the first spots of algae the other day and freaked, so he sent his guy to take care of it, but he swears that I'm going to get algae every now and then. NOT! We'll see. Currently, the Polaris runs every night and I manually clean with the skimmer net each time before I get in. I also brush the steps and ledges each time I swim. Knowing myself, the honeymoon won't last long - but I'm gonna try.

OK, so here they are (the last one is the algae from the other day):

Childhood Dreams Fulfilled???

From birth to age 13, I lived in Plano, Texas. Plano is just north of Dallas, and, at that time, was one of those towns known for having good football, and a lot of wealthy residents. (And troubled teens - I got out just in time!!!) Plano is/was divided into East Plano and West Plano. West Plano was where all of the rich folks lived, and East Plano is where the rest of us were. (Of course, now there are also lots of wealthy subdivisions east of East Plano, just to confuse things.)

My sister and I were "latchkey kids" (I literally have several school pictures with my key hanging from a chain or shoe string from my neck - what a dweeb!), so we (especially me) got into a little mischief now and then, but it was necessary to keep from being bored. Our neighborhood was bordered on one side by 14th Street. At the time, this was a busy 4 lane road, with neighborhoods on one side, and commercial properties on the other. My best comparison for it is like Coursey Blvd, between Sherwood Forrest and Stumberg, is today - a good amount of well flowing traffic. The main attractions for us on 14th Street were Dairy Queen, 7-11, and farther down-past the semi residential area-Tom Thumb. When the allowance money would come in, I'd pull out the Sweet Thunder from the garage, and hit the streets. Getting from our street to the other side of 14th Street was always scary as hell, but with DQ and 7-11 in my sights, I had no choice, right? My favorite DQ Treats were the Buster Bar and Push-up. Marg liked the Dilly Bar. And we were both fascinated with the chocolate dipped ice cream cone, with the signature DQ curl at the tip of the ice cream. Crossing a side street from DQ, you could get to 7-11. I spent many hours and many dollars in that place. Loved the cherry Slurpee the best (Marg like the Coke flavored - yuck!). One day we got "accosted" as we left the store by the clerk, because he said we shoplifted (which, believe it or not, we didn't). He demanded that Margaret open her purse, but she stood her ground with all the righteous indignation that a 12 year old can muster. I think that experience ended with Mom driving up there later and chewing the guy out - and picking up a carton of True Blues while she was there.

On days when I was really brave, rich and bored, I'd take my bike all the way to the Tom Thumb. This was really scary, because, even though it was on the same side of 14th Street as our house, the sidewalk ended about half way there. Plus, you had to cross the intersection at Jupiter Road, which was like crossing Sherwood Forest Blvd at Coursey. Then, I had to worry about finding a place to lock up the bike once I got there. But, once I made it into the parking lot, it was always worth it. For me, the toy aisle rocked! I bought every new Matchbox and Hot Wheels car that came out. If I had kept all of those cars, and kept them in mint condition, I could retire right now. But I wasn't thinking about that back then. It was way too much fun to build my Lincoln Log houses and have my cars drive back and forth. (If this part of the story is sounding too much like a normal childhood, just know that in my Matchbox/Hot Wheels/Lincoln Logs scenarios, most of the visiting was for illicit purposes - I watched a lot of Prime Time TV at that age.)



The other Nirvana for us growing up was Stuckey's. (Has the phrase "white trash childhood" passed through your thoughts yet?) My grandparents lived about an hour north of us, and about half way between our houses was a Stuckey's. We usually visited them once a month or so, and more often in the summers. In all of those trips I cannot remember a single incident when Margaret and I did not BEG my mother to stop at Stuckey's. We knew which exit it was on, so for about 5 miles in advance, we'd start working her over. "Please, Mama. Please, Mama. Oh please, oh please, oh please. Pleeeeeeeease let us stop - just this once. We never get to stop. I've got to go to the bathroom - really bad. I don't think I can hold it." I'll admit it - my memory is not what it used to be - but I don't think she ever stopped. (I'm sure she stopped occasionally, but I have no recollection of ever going in there.) In our most desperate attempts to get her to stop, we'd gather together all of our supernatural abilities, and mimic her turning the steering wheel onto the exit ramp. The concentration was uncanny. And, every now and then, it would almost work. The car WOULD actually start to veer towards the ramp. But, she'd always regain control, and the green roof would fly past us. Damn - we almost had her that time. And, then, mystically, things would revert to normal as if Stuckey's didn't even exist. "How much longer 'til we get there? She's kicking my seat!!!"

So why all of the nostalgia? Well, when Ray and I drove back to Baton Rouge from Lexington, we were looking for something to eat. We were approaching Birmingham, and I have rules for when and where we can stop (either before or after a big town, not in it because that's usually where the scary parts are). So it's getting close to 6:00, and I go into my "where are we going to stop" mode. And then...up ahead on the right...I see it. The green roof and yellow sign of a Stuckey's. OH...MY...GOSH - am I seeing what I think I'm seeing? Because it wasn't JUST a Stuckey's - it was a Stuckey's with a Dairy Queen attached! Ding, ding, ding - we have a winner!


So we pull into the parking lot, and I manage to stay in the car at least until Ray puts it in Park. All I'm thinking is "Steak Finger Basket and worthless junk to spend money on!" OK, I won't drag it out. DQ sucked! They no longer have Steak Finger Baskets, and I don't think I recognized a single thing on the Ice Cream part of the menu. Talk about disappointment. But I still had Stuckey's waiting for me. But, as much as I tried, couldn't find a single cheesy souvenir that I wanted. I ended up buying a bag of Cherry Sours and Peanut Butter Logs. What a bummer!

So, maybe my childhood wasn't so bad. And maybe Mom knew what she was doing by denying us the experience of going to Stuckey's (yes, there's still bitterness there). All I can say is that I think I've gotten it out of my system (for now).

P.S. Whether I'm wrong about this or not, I don't REALLY think I had a total white trash childhood - that was just poetic license. Don't get me wrong - Margaret and I were a bit on the bumpkin side. In fact, she still is. We didn't have a lot of money, but we always had what we needed. But, both of my parents always insisted on us having good manners and knowing wrong from right. Of course knowing wrong from right doesn't mean I always chose right. I was kind of like the 1970's female Eddie Haskel. But I really DIDN'T take anything from the 7-11...that day.

I'll post my pictures of the not so exciting visit to Dairy Queen and Stuckey's the next time I get on my PC at home.

What to do when you stay home sick

I stayed home today, because I was feeling crampy, but got on the computer to send myself an email to work. When I checked my home email account, I saw this link that my sister sent me to a site called "My Heritage." On the site, there is a face recognition program, where you can upload picutures, and it will tell you what celebrities you look like. I'm sure it's pretty bogus, and just uses basic facial shapes and features, but the more pictures I uploaded, the more I found myself on the edge of my seat, hoping that somebody cool would pop up. I'm such a geek - what can I say?

So, here are the pictures that I used on the site, and below are the results, in order with the pictures, which should be viewed from left to right, top to bottom.


The first shot returned Brett Hull (whoever that is) and a bunch of other guys. Also some Asians.

On the next one where I was smiling, I looked almost exclusively like women (pretty ones, too), but I didn't see the resemblance in most of the cases.

I ran one of Ray, and it said he looked like Hugo Weaving (Priscilla, Queen of the Desert), Rowan Atkinson (Mr. Bean), but it also said he looked like Denzel Washington, Chuck Norris and Gabriel Byrne. Go figure. I would have guessed Yul Brenner or something.

News Flash!!! The next one I ran of me in my Harley jacket said 59% like Michael Landon! That's "Pa Ingalls" to those 'Little House on the Prairie fans'. Whoppee! Also, Annette Benning, James Stewart and Arial Sharon. So far, in the three pics I'd run of me, I hadn't gotten the same person twice.

The next one I ran with my old glasses and when I first got my haircut short, returned Brad Pitt and Richard Gere. Damn, I was one hot looking Dude!

Ran another picture, that is a bit infamous to the old AFS crew, titled "Ouch," and got Jessica Alba, Jake Gyllenhaal, Liem Neeson, and Art Garfunkel (probably due to the hair on that one). At this point, I'm thinking of moving to Beverly - Hills, that is.

Then I ran one I took of Ternisa getting back on the bus in Lexington, after sweating at one of the horse farms. She got Raven Symone, Reese Witherspoon, Isabella Rossellini and Nancy Kerrigan. There were six other women it compared her too - all attractive. Not ONE time did it say she looked like a boy. Bitch.

Next I ran one of my niece, Lauren. She was about 6 months old in the picture, and very cute with her chubby cheeks. Some of her matches came back as Kate Winslet, Donnie Osmond (Lucky!), Gandhi, and Muhhamed Ali.

Finally, I ran one of me at Halloween, 2001, dressed up as my alter ego, "Spike". Who does Spike resemble? How about Regis Philbin for a start. Then there's Rene Russo, Jessica Alba (my first repeat, so it must be true), Estella Warren, and finally, Miss Thing herself...Whitney Houston. Oh, hell to the yes!

For each of the pictures, it gives you about 10 "celebrities" that match with you. I didn't list them all, because I didn't know half of them (although the site brags that it has the faces of the world's 3,200 most famous men and women) . But overall, my commonalities were men, Asians, Hispanics, and Jessica Alba. I guess I'll fare quite well in our continuously evolving melting pot of a society.

So, here's the link to the site. If you find yourself feeling crummy one day, it may cheer you up (or not). http://www.myheritage.com/FP/Company/face-recognition.php

As for me, I think I'm going back to bed now. 

Ready for Home

It's 12:15 am here in Nashville, and I'm ready to get home. The conference dinner and dancing ended at midnight, but I bailed about 11:30 to get online so that I could print our boarding passes and check e-mail. As usual, there were some 'kids' in here, taking up the computer space, but I managed to get on one that looked like it was having technical difficulties. Being the adult that I am, I went and asked the Front Desk how to fix it. It's nice having the confidence of a grown-up sometimes (not that I have it all of the time - not that evolved yet).
Anyway, I guess I'll go upstairs and try to pack a little bit, as Ray is still partying. The Hospitality Suite will be open until 1:00, so I told him that's his curfew. We'll see if he abides by it. Doubtful.
As much as I'm ready to get home, I certainly don't want to get back to work! We moved into our new building while I've been here, so I have boxes to unpack, as well as requests and problems that have been building up over the past week. Oh well, this, too, shall pass.
Guess I'll go pack and check on T.S. Chris on The Weather Channel. For those of you not in Louisiana, please say a prayer that Chris doesn't head our way.
Oh yeah, not much exciting to report from Nashville, other than I am now calling Ray and I the 'Alpha and Omega of Door Prizes.' I won the very first door prize given out - a digital camera and a memory card! It's probably not any nicer than the one I have (still only 4MB pictures), but it's small, takes decent pictures, and I'm giving it to Ray since he has never gone digital. This was a door prize drawn from names of people who registered early, and was sponsored by the organization. Ray won the very last prize of the conference, an American Express prepaid gift card for $100. Pretty cool, huh? We rock!
Later ----

**Teaser Alert**

OK - I've gotten quite a few complaints that I have been neglecting the Blog for the past week or so. You're right, and I'm sorry. I posted the pictures and comments below today, hoping to appease you temporarily. Since we've been back from Kentucky, I just haven't had the time or energy to put my thoughts and adventures into words. I do have some stuff to write about though. But now, we're leaving for Nashville tomorrow morning, and won't be back until next Friday night. I don't think I'll have access to the Web, so this will probably be my last posting for a week.
Just to show you that I plan to finish my Kentucky adventures, I've put the pictures above. I've got at least 3 stories to share: how I laughed so hard I almost wet my pants at the NASBO State Dinner; fulfilling my childhood fantasy of stopping at Stuckey's; and a comment about the upcoming release of yet another 'Rocky' movie. Plus, I'll have new things to tell about from Tennessee. And - as if that's not enough - as I sit here, the pool is being plastered, so it ought to be ready for action when we get back.
So, enjoy the pictures and short comments below, and I'll be back.... 

Awesome Burgers at Lynagh's

My good friend Geoff of the Kentucky Budget Office staff (who was alone with me in my hotel room at one point...) recommended that we eat at Lynagh's Pub near the University of Kentucky campus. We did, and were glad. Great burgers and fun atmosphere. Kentucky is a no smoking place, even in bars. So for me, it was great.
Barbara, Etta, Ternisa, Ray and I went for dinner one night, and had a great time - talking trash, of course! 

Woodford Distillery

Part of the day outing for the NASBO trip was a visit to the Woodford Distillery, where they make top of the line Boubon. It was a small distillery, and the tour guide was very proud of what they do there. It was HOT, but very interesting. Top left shows the bourbon aging in ash casks. Top right is Ray standing next to some examples of the finished product. Both bottom shots show us next to the huge vat where the process begins. It was hot and yeasty smelling. I kept wondering what would happen if I fell in? Could I get out, or would it be like an adult version of 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,' with me coming out drunk as Cooter Brown on the other end? Also, would they have to clean out the vats and start over, or just figure that at some point, the alcohol would kill any contamination I may have caused?
After the tour, we got to sample some bourbon and bourbon balls. It was STRONG! Just a taste on the tip of my tongue sent a hot flash down my throat and to my stomach. Ray was gracious enough to drink his, most of mine, and I think some of Ternisa's sample. Then he proceeded to revisit the Bourbon Ball tray so many times that they finally covered it up. That Ray - he loves a freebie!
Just to save face, I bought a box of the BBs. I also bought a bottle of bourbon, packaged in the limited edition 2006 Kentucky Derby bottle. On the RARE chance that any of you are ever invited over to my house, don't even think about asking if you can have a sip of it! 

OPB Goes to Church?!?!

Monique, Barbara, Etta, Ternisa, me and Ray at Joe Bologna's in Lexington, Kentucky. This is an Italian place that is in an old church. It was originally a Christian church that was later sold and used as a Jewish temple. It dates back to the late 19th century. Pretty cool, although sitting amongst the stain glass was freaking me out a little. The food was good and inexpensive. We had lots of fun - talking trash, of course! 

Ray and His Two Wives

Ray, Ternisa (his Office Wife) and me (the inheriting wife) at Da Sha's Pub in Lexington, Kentucky. Doesn't Ternisa look like she's been sold to Ray on the black market? We had a few drinks here, and Ternisa tried to pick up the bartender.

Kentucky Horse Park Reception

Sunday evening, the NASBO opening reception was held at the Kentucky Horse Park. This is a 1,200 acre working horse farm owned by the Commonwealth of Kentucky, and open to the public. The farm is surrounded by 30 miles of white plank fencing - very impressive. While there, we got to go on a hayride around the grounds,

we ate a great dinner, which included oven fried chicken (tasted just like the Colonel's Original Recipe - yum), got to hear a Bluegrass Band, and were treated to the "Parade of Breeds".

In this demonstration, we got to see 6 or 7 different, and some very rare, breeds of horses. The biggest one they showed was a Trakehner, which is generally 16 - 17 hands (I'm such a horse person now). Ok, for those of you who aren't as knowledgeable as me, that's a little under 6 feet at the withers (tallest point of the back). This particular horse was 18 hands, which is exactly 6 feet at the withers. Man, that thing was huge! After the parade, they brought the horses to the fence of the corral, and we got to get a close-up look. As Ternisa and I stood next to the Trakehner to have our picture taken, I said, "I sure hope this thing doesn't kick me!" The next thing I knew, I was slapped in the face by it's tail - and it stung! Etta was taking our picture, and she snapped it just as the tail started coming around. Needless to say, I didn't go visit any of the other breeds up close and personal.

Ternisa and I each took home a nice souvenir from the dinner, and then Ternisa won an identical souvenir the next day. A matching set!

That Smarts!

Yesterday, we had the opportunity to go to a working Kentucky Horse Farm. The one we toured was called “Three Chimneys Farm”. It was a relatively short visit – they took us to the stallion division only. This farm breeds and raises thoroughbreds, and the breeding fee to bring a mare in for one of their champion stallions is $100,000! The most well known stud in residence is the undisputed 2004 Kentucky Derby winner, Smarty Jones. They say that in Smarty’s first year there, he sired 90 foals, and that, on average, each stud is bred with the mares about 150 times in a season (which runs from mid-February through mid-July). When we got off the bus, it was just sweltering! They took us past a memorial to Seattle Slew (who used to be in residence there), and into the Breeding Room. This is a large round room with padding on all of the walls, and 14” of shredded rubber tires on the floor. It felt like walking on a trampoline. The tour guide explained to us that the Breeding Room is a very controlled environment into which the mares are brought to be mated with the stallions. There are cameras at all angles and a control room, because everything must be fully documented. When the foal is born, hair is taken from the forehead and it is DNA tested to prove the parentage. Once the foal is able to walk and nurse, the breeding fee is transferred from escrow to the Three Chimneys Farm. After the Breeding Room, they took us to the room that has the stalls for the stallions. There were 7 or 8 horses in there, each in his own stall with his name on the door. It is really strange to think that you’re standing in a room with animals who will earn more in one breeding season than you will ever earn in your lifetime. As you can imagine, most of the horses were getting a little excited as we entered the area. Breeding season has just ended, and so they are used to having to “perform” when humans come in to the stable to get them. For a city girl, it was quite a sight! Then the moment we had all been waiting for. The handler went into Smarty Jones’ stall, brushed him to make him all pretty, and then put a lead on him and brought him out into the center of the room. He (and all the rest) was truly a beautiful creature. Just perfect looking. But, remember, I told you that when they are brought out, they are conditioned to go into the Breeding Room next door…..Whoa, Nellie. I thought we were going to have to surgically reset Ternisa’s eyes back into her head! The next few pictures document our visit.

Visiting the Three Chimneys Farm's Stallion Division

Barbara with War Chant

Ternisa and Yes Its True

Ray measures up next to Point Given

The business end of Smarty Jones

Introducing Smarty Jones!!!

Smarty was excited to see us!

He was very excited to see us!

Very, very excited to see us!!!

The One that Got Away

Ternisa and I were impressed. Ternisa is still a little stunned here.

Postings will have to wait

My plan to have access to the net and, therefore, keep the Blog updated, is not going as well as I had hoped. The laptop I brought with me can't get connected to the T-Mobile hotspot (no doubt my fault as that is a bit too high tech for me). So, I'm here in the Hyatt's "Business Center" right now. This is literally no more than an old supply closet that has been cleared out. There is a table with a PC and small printer (oh, and an electronic pencil sharpener - can't have a Business Center without one of those!). Anyway, the connection seems REALLY slow, so I'm hoping this will even post. I tried to upload a "teaser" photo of Ray after the Graceland visit, but it wouldn't even do that.
So I guess I'll just write my Blogs on the laptop, and upload them when I get home.


(Ooops! I just went back to the other Window, and was able to bring in Ray on the bus after touring Graceland - see how excited he was!!!)

My New Blog Photo

Don't I look twisted? Actually, I was just trying to hide all of my extra chins! 

Deck Shots

Here are some shots of the concrete that they poured yesterday for the "deck" of the pool. Top Left is a view from the house; Top Right is a view from the back part of the pool/yard; Bottom Left is my nifty sidewalk idea that came to me in an inspired moment; Bottom Right is the back of the pool. The concrete on the back and sides is really just for walking and not having to get in the grass. There are two areas in the front that can accomodate lounge chairs or the table and chairs. The sidewalk leads from the edge of the pool to the equipment pad, and after hearing my neighbor say how muddy she got having to go back there, I decided to have it poured. (My other neighbor is jealous. He's commented on how he wishes he had one everytime we've been out there since they formed and poured it. Hee Hee.) According to the builder, they'll come out next week and spray the "spray-krete" on the concrete. This is what gives it the color and also the texture so that people don't slip. We're having the existing aggregate patio sprayed, too, so that it all matches. Given good weather (ha! ha!), they'll be able to do that and put the equipment in and plaster and fill it up by the end of this week. That still amazes me - especially since during all of this we had an entire week of just doing nothing but watching the rain.

Gotta go pack! 

Some Days are Just Plain Good!

Today was one of those days. Yes, I still had to deal with the same about of BS at work as usual. And, yes, I am developing an unsightly blemish just in time for social hour at Ray's NASBO conference. But, I'm over the dumb asses at work, and the zit will go away (given copious amounts of Sea Breeze).
Three good things happened today. First, I rode T.S. to work today for the first time! Man was it scary! I mean I still cannot get over how frightening this whole wind velocity thing is. It was all I could do to steel my nerve to keep the bike going 55 mph! It's strange - I go down Nicholson (Hwy 30) at up to 80 mph all the time (okay, I don't do it that often, so don't go reporting me or anything). But, when I got to the "Speed Zone Ahead" sign, I was thinking, "Thank you, God!" Anyway, I made it with no problems. Yes, Ray was escorting me, of course. And everyone at work said how beautiful T.S. is. I did have a little trepidation when it came time to go home this afternoon, because there was this HUGE black cloud covering the sky, and the wind was gusting a bit. I made it home with just a few drops hitting me, and I even managed to get the bike up to 60 mph for a brief moment.
The second good thing today was that they poured the concrete for the swimming pool deck. And I have to say, it looks pretty good. You know (due to my OCD) my thing for symmetry. And the way the deck came out pretty well feeds this need. Supposedly, it will set enough in a few days that they can come back and set up the equipment and finish the plaster. At that point, it's time to start filling it up. Wow - this has happened so fast. We just started on June 21st.
The third good thing was that I was able to leave work today with the knowledge that I don't have to go back for over a week-yipee!! And the cool thing is, that this is one of the first times that I actually feel good about leaving. I mean, I know that there will be a ton of junk piling up while I'm gone. And I know that when I get back, I'll only have a week to get my office packed up and ready to move to our new building. And I know that when I get back, I'll only have a week to catch up before I have to turn around and leave again for another week (my conference in Nashville this time). But, I'm just letting that stuff roll right off me.
So, I have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow to get us ready for our road trip to Kentucky (with that very important pit stop in Memphis). Plus, I have to go back to the freakazoid Podiatrist in the morning. That may put a frown on my day. But, it's my money, so if he ticks me off, I think I'll just not go back anymore. So there.
Pics of the pool and possible Podiatrist posting tomorrow.

If it's good enough for Junichiro Koizumi, it's good enough for the Stockstills!

"I'm going to Graceland, Graceland - Memphis, Tennessee!" That's right, Ray and I are going to Graceland! He has his annual conference in Lexington, Kentucky, next week, and we decided to drive instead of fly. Not that I had an ulterior motive, but it didn't take me long to see that I could easily route us through Memphis. Ray's never had the honor of visiting The King's home, and I've only been once (can you believe it?), about 15 years ago. What, you didn't know I was an Elvis fan? Come on!
This would be a good question for the "Nature vs. Nurture" debate, but whichever the case, my siblings and I never stood a chance! Ever since I can remember, my dad has loved Elvis, and I can remember being a little girl and dancing around to 'Jailhouse Rock' with him and my sister.
In fact, Margaret and I were such faithful worshippers, that we each got suddenly ill once or twice a year when Channel 11-KTVT in Dallas had "Elvis Week". Depending on the forum, Channel 11 would either show an Elvis movie each afternoon or each late night, or both. So you can imagine the excitement at 1412 Ridgecrest Drive when the TV Guide showed up those weeks. We'd scrutinize the listings to determine which day(s) the illness was going to strike. The best bouts with the virus for me would be when 'Viva Las Vegas' or 'Kissin' Cousins' was playing. If I recall correctly, Margaret liked 'Roustabout' (great scene where he sings 'Little Egypt') and 'Double Trouble.' But her all time favorite - for which she would pour on the drama (this included heating the thermometer with a Bic lighter and pretending to have just thrown up) - was the 1969 classic, 'Change of Habit.' This was Elvis playing opposite Mary Tyler Moore. He's a doctor working in an inner-city clinic who falls for a social worker (Moore). The twist is that she's actually a nun! So there's all the makings for a great flic: Elvis, a hot Mary Tyler Moore, helping poor neglected kids, the taboo of the forbidden love, and of course, great songs like 'Rubberneckin'.' Man, you can't beat that!
But, of course, Elvis didn't just make great movies, he made GREAT music. If I had to pick my favorite song, it would be...nope, can't pick just one. So, my top 5 favorites (in no particular order) are: 'Burnin' Love,' 'In the Ghetto' (Taylor Hicks can stick his version where the sun don't shine!), 'Can't Help Falling in Love,' 'That's All Right (Mama),' 'Viva Las Vegas,' and 'Suspicious Minds.' Okay, I know that was six songs, but I couldn't narrow it down to just five - sue me.
Anyway, the last time I went to Graceland, I was going through a "sullen" phase in my life, so I really didn't make the most of it. But don't worry - I'm gonna make up for it this time. I made my reservations today, and I'm planning to leave Baton Rouge at 3:00 AM Saturday morning to make sure I get there in plenty of time for the first tour of the day.
I hope Ray appreciates it as much as I will. He probably won't, but it'll be okay, because I already told him that I am buying him a pair of Elvis sunglasses that he will be required to wear for the entire trip.
Gotta go get me a Peanut Butter and 'Nana sandwich. Thank you. Thank you very much.

Close Call

Friday, my sister Margaret (on the right in the picture above - sorry, Marg, this is the only picture I could find on short notice) went to the hospital to have a bit of outpatient surgery. The surgeon decided to use general anesthesia, because he wasn't exactly sure how complicated the procedure would be. So the good news was that the procedure wasn't as complicated as he thought it might be, and he came out to the waiting room to tell my mom and aunt that everything had gone well, and that they would be sending her to recovery soon. Mom calls me to let me know, and yada, yada, yada.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch...they're having a bit of trouble bringing Margaret back around. You know how they always say that even a minor surgery is dangerous because of the anesthesia? Well, case in point. After the normal 5 minute period to come back to consciousness is up and Margaret is still not waking up, they start to worry. They're shaking her, calling her name, etc. When the Anesthesiologist comes back in and sees what's going on, he says, "I think she's paralyzed." WHAT?!?! Okay, at this point you're probably asking yourself how I know what he said, right? Well, I know what he said because Margaret could hear EVERY WORD! So she's laying there (what else could she do, right?), and hears that she's paralyzed. And she thinks, "Great, just what I needed." They mess around with her for a few more minutes - shocking her temples with electrodes, twisting her head around, etc. - and she's feeling and hearing everything. She just cannot open her eyes or, literally, move a muscle. Then she says that the thought occurs to her that she can't breath very well - uh oh. I guess the docs must have come to the same conclusion at that point, because they quickly drugged her back up and stuck a ventilator tube down her throat (this she does not remember, thankfully).
Apparently, a component of what was used in the anesthesia requires a certain amount of an impossible to pronounce enzyme
(http://www.emedicine.com/med/topic1935.htm) to flush it quickly out of the system. Where "normal" people have a reading of anywhere between 1900 and 3800, Margaret's blood test results showed that she had 63. Not a typo - I really mean 63. The result of this is that it took her body about 7 hours to process this chemical. All the while, she's in ICU, breathing with the help of a ventilator, restrained, and totally out of it. My dad and I, who are 500 miles away and helpless, are pretty much freaking out. I mean even though the docs said they'd seen this before (although it's pretty rare), when somebody uses the words "paralyzed" and "ventilator", it kind of gets to you.
Luckily, everything worked out alright, and Margaret was released from the hospital the next morning. A little hoarse, quite a bit bruised from the restraints, and definitely disappointed that she didn't have any paranormal experiences during her period of unconsciousness. Since this enzyme deficiency is hereditary, I get to go have blood drawn a week from Monday to be tested, too. I always do so well on tests - I hope I can score better than a 63!
I know she doesn't hear this much from me (for whatever reason, I'm rather stunted when it comes to expressing affection), but (deep breath)...I love you, Marg, and I don't think I could stand to lose you yet. Glad you're back!